My full name is Louise BOURKE (29/07/1988) and my adress is known by police

So I tried one of these yesterday and it was a dismal failure :( but today I tried a new recipe (from nomnompaleo.com) and I am thrilled!

I reduced the amount of honey and used oils that I had in the house, I reckon we have a winner though!

My Version!

Ingredients

• 1.5 tablespoons coconut flour
• 1.5 tablespoons almond flour
• 1 tablespoon Olive oil
• 1 tablespoon Coconut oil (melted)
• 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• 2 teaspoons raw honey
• 1 tablespoon water
• 1 egg
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• pinch of salt
• pinch of cinnamon

Instructions

• Add all ingredients to a mug.
• Mix all ingredients well with a spoon
• Microwave for 2 minutes.

I didn’t want as much sweetness as the original recipe so I substituted some of the honey with some water and I think it worked well. I also didn’t have any walnut oil so I just used half coconut and half olive, I think any oils would work well. Although I did forget to melt the Coconut oil but I gave it a “good” mix it still turned out fine :D

I might even give it a go with some fruit in it next time to make it more moist…or shorten the cooking time a little?

Also, today is GYM DAY! I’m pretty excited, I’m only going one day a week at the moment (Gah! thesis) so I REALLY enjoy it when I get to go

Original recipe from nomnompaleo.com

 Ingredients

• 1.5 tablespoons coconut flour
• 1.5 tablespoons almond flour
• 2 tablespoons walnut oil
• 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• 2 tablespoons raw honey
• 1 egg
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• pinch of salt
• pinch of cinnamon

Instructions

• Add all ingredients to a mug.
• Mix all ingredients well with a spoon.
• Microwave for 2 minutes.

This wont ever be complete because, well I just don’t do things that way! But here is my story of my ‘paleo’ life. Some people will disagree and say I’m not doing it right but  I don’t really care about what they have to say, I’m doing my best and that’s what counts to me!

My Mr. and I have been Paleo for about 4 months now. I love it. I’m currently typing this while the sauce is heating up for my breakfast. Baked eggs in left over bolognese.

I haven’t felt this healthy ever, and I was an athlete, training 6-10 sessions per week and looked like a fitness model. I used to eat like a horse and snack on EVERYTHING, even when I wasn’t training. I have begun to break my own bad food habits (boredom eating and sugar) and I don’t even miss bread!

Now I am 58kg, 170cm and love life. I still battle the same old judgement rubbish….”You’re too skinny” “Eat more girl!” “Is your weight healthy” but now I get to reply “Na, If I wasn’t healthy, I wouldn’t be able to lift OVER body weight” and “Eat more?!? come have dinner with Mr. and I, then tell me to eat more!”

Cutting out Gluten has mad me happier too. I don’t mean in a “Oh look I’m not bloated anymore” way but litterally, I am less anxious, something I never thought would happen! 

So here ‘tis… I’ll probably try to tell you about cool stuff and post recipes when I rememeber.

I eat Vegetables, Meat, Fruit and Nuts…Wanna’ fight about it? ;)

I don’t want to run or hide from you

I’m not scared, I embrace you as I do life

When I leave this earth, whether in pain or peace I will do it with my eyes open

I embrace suffering and pain as part of my existance and if that must be my end 

then so be it

Dignity does not require freedom from pain

Dignity means standing in the face of whatever may come with courage

Living requires the ultimate respect of life while remaining fearless of death

Let it take me as it chooses, I will defy it while I can

I don’t like stereotypes. 
I also love people, I try and include them in my life, be friendly and courteous, hold off pre-conceptions and judge people based on their behaviours and attitudes, not the role they have or some other category. Sometimes I fail, but I still do my best.

Insert the mother in law.

It started off alright, slightly self obsessed, a bit stubborn and opinionated but not so bad. At least she had good craft stuff that I could use with her. She seemed to want me as a part of her life too.

Then she got a job, in an office, shuffling papers

clearly her job is MUCH harder than my uni degree *nods quietly*

Ok, so she whinges….plenty of people do that

The 6 month mark rolls around with my amazing boyfriend

I joke around about me not believing in God or going to church 
MIL: What about if your future husband is religious?
Me: What do you mean?
MIL: Well what if he wants to get married in a church? (thinly veiled attempt to push a church wedding for her son)
Me: Well if he wants to marry me we will have to make a compromise
MIL: (Getting more agitated) Why can’t you compromise?
Me: I feel that it would be disrespectful to the church, my husband, our guest and anyone who believes in god to stand up in front of them and say “I will honour, Cherish and Obey my Husband under the eyes of God” considering that I don’t believe in God
MIL: But what if he wants to get married in a church?
Me: Well isn’t God everywhere? Can’t he just make his promises to God in a garden or something while I make my promises not to God?
MIL: But what if he wants to have it in a church?
Me: Well I am not getting married in a church. Anyway, this is pretty irrelevant, it isn’t like Rob wants to get married in a church.
MIL: (STILL GOING) How do you know?
Me: Because we have talked about it and he doesn’t believe in God and doesn’t want a church wedding either…

Ok, so the lady has expectations, no big deal, her problem, not mine

Continue on to the year mark:

The Mother in Law decides to announce that she wants to go on a family holiday, back home to England, just Her, her husband and the two boys…

Boyfriend: I don’t want to leave Lou for that long
MIL: Oh well, it would just be nice to have one last family holiday before you boys start growing up and going off in your own directions
FIL: But I don’t want to go to England
Boyfriend: When would we go Mum? because it’s really hard to get that much time off?
MIL: I just think it would be nice to all go to England together on holiday

Ok, so the lady doesn’t consider me a part of the family and doesn’t respect her husband or sons’ opinions. Her bad I suppose???

Just after our 2 year anniversary & engagement

MIL: So will you take me dress shopping with you?
Me: Uh, well, I haven’t even decided if I’m buying a dress yet.
MIL: Well I just want to be included
Me: Well we won’t be planning anything for a while
MIL: Just make sure you include me

Ok, so needy, but I’m sure it will be fine

After 3 and a half years of being together, 6 months of planning and a few weeks of asking repeatedly about the wedding colour.

Fiancé: Mum, we have told you the colour, it’s green. 
MIL: Oh, ok
Fiancé: Why do you need to know the colour anyway?
MIL: I want to match the wedding colours
Fiancé: Why would you do that? You aren’t a bridesmaid?
Me: You aren’t a bridesmaid, you’re his Mum. We think that is an important role on our day and we think it would be better if you wore a different colour so people can tell that you have a special role.

Ok, so, I can’t explain this…it’s pretty weird

I could keep explaining all of the things that she has done, there are plenty more, and I’m not exaggerating. I will only explain one more. The last thing, the one that tipped me over the edge…

One night my fiancé, his parents and I were having a pool night, chilling out, having a couple & generally having fun. As usual, Rob & his Dad are walloping us girls, his parents are playing, and the MIL is losing, she isn’t happy about it & starts yelling out just as the FIL is taking his shot. Politely, she is told not to, it’s rude, we aren’t doing that to you. She keeps going. The song changes and I don’t like it, so I ask the boys if they mind changing it and they do. 
A few songs later she decides she doesn’t like the song

MIL: This music is Crap
Me: That’s a bit rude, we like it
MIL: It’s crap
Me: No it isn’t, just because you don’t like it, that doesn’t make it crap, that’s really offensive
MIL: Na it’s crap

I don’t disrespect other people by ragging on the things that they like, neither does Rob or his Dad. Apparently she gets to though. I can’t handle people disrespecting me, or anyone else. I don’t think it’s right. 

I’m sick of compromising my self respect to keep the peace, I’m sick of being disrespected and I’m sick of seeing people I care about being disrespected…

But you never expect the person who is being disrespectful to be their mother or wife. 

That was when it hit me, if this was a friend, I would tell them in no uncertain terms that I didn’t appreciate their behaviour. If they decided to keep the behaviour up, I just wouldn’t see them any more.

So to summarise:

• I’ve been trying to be friends with my MIL, defend her and support her
• I’ve make concessions for her short comings, time and time again
• I’m not getting much out of the relationship

So why am I still trying to be her friend? Since when did my Mother in Law need to be my friend? Sure, that is what I would like, I don’t want to fulfil the stereotype of mother and daughter in law

That’s when I decided, I can remove this stress by just not trying any longer, sure it will be awkward for a while, and I still have to see her but I don’t need to spend quality time with her.

My self respect is worth so much more than that, my Fiancé respects me and that is what matters